Pregnancy for me has never been easy, I don’t hide the fact that I have suffered five heart-breaking miscarriages, but I would like to share my journey with you all, if you don’t mind?
Back before Emmy’s Daddy and I were married I fell pregnant accidentally but miscarried at six weeks. This spurred us on to actually book our wedding and do what we had talked about for a while – start a family. So we married in 2007 and started our journey onto parenthood in 2008 – or so we thought. After a few months I was pregnant, over-joyed and excited. We told friends and family, unable to keep our little secret, but once again at six weeks I miscarried.
I am not one to be beaten so researched, investigated and started taking vitamins and Baby Asprin and four months later I was pregnant again; this time I was sent for an early scan at five week due to bleeding but all was fine. We were then scanned again at seven weeks and saw baby’s heart beat. All was well so we told our family, and all continued to go well and at 12 weeks we went for another scan. Then our world collapsed when we found out the baby had died at around nine weeks and I’d cruelly suffered a missed miscarriage, so was booked in for an operation to remove the failed pregnancy.
I don’t mind admitting the next few months were really dark months for me – I didn’t eat properly, I started drinking lots, wasn’t sleeping and cried lots. However I was referred to see a consultant at my local hospital so pulled myself together, with the help of some wonderful online virtual friends who I met through various miscarriage groups, and was sent off for tests. I joked that I was a human pin-cushion as there were so many vials of blood taken. All of our tests came back normal which was disappointing as there was nothing they could do. We were then referred to St. Mary’s in Paddington which has a fantastic reputation for their treatment and investigations into recurrent miscarriage.
But, we never made the appointment as before the date came through I was pregnant again – with my lucky number four, Emmy. This time I was scanned every 2 weeks until 12 weeks and before Emmy was born I had had nine scans. Emmy was born at 40 + 11 weeks (yes – I cooked her too well) on 4th Feb 2011.
Now once you have had your first child, everyone just assumes that another will follow shortly after – even those who knew my history still couldn’t stop themselves from asking that question. It actually scared the life out of me as I know how hard it can be, and I admit I would have loved Emmy to have a brother or sister.
Well it happened – I fell pregnant again last May but miscarried again at six weeks. This time it did seem easier – I just got on with it, cuddled Emmy, dusted myself down and carried on as normal. Over Christmas Paul (my Hubby) and I had that chat again and decided as Emmy was almost two we should just keep trying until another miracle stuck – I was pregnant again in January and miscarried at five weeks this time. BUT, I found out I was pregnant this Valentines Day with baby number seven and I’m pleased to say that baby is still there. We had an early scan at eight weeks and I’m currently 10 + 5 weeks pregnant with another miracle. Our next scan is this week and everything is crossed that all will be well then – I’ve been put on anti-sickness tablets which can only be a good sign.
Wish us luck!
A happy footnote to this post: Harry is now here, a gorgeous little 8 month old. See him in his brand new highchair!